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Mammo Day: Gravity 3

1/23/2015

Boob-Smasher.
Melon-Masher.
Boobsickle Machine.
The Beast.
It has many different names. We all know it as the Mammogram Machine! Every year I get to dance the dance with Jaws. If gravity wasn't already doing work on the ladies...this machine surely exacerbates the process.!
It's always a tense day for me. It's a practice in staying in the moment. As I put on the gorgeous fashionable gown and robe I try to find humor...and succeed! Hence the 'Selfies'!
I look at all the other robed ladies in the waiting area and smile at them. We all love our outfits of various colors. We also all have a little apprehension of the "Smash to Come". We just want to get it over and get our passing report card and leave!!

Fashion Show in the Glorious Gown!

I get called back and chat with my sweet technician for a while. Bless her heart! She has the worst job ever! Handling boobs of all shapes and sizes is not on my list of jobs I'd like to do! She very kind and professional. She does what she needs to do to accomplish the "Boob Smash" then says, "Don't Breathe and Don't Move!" REALLY?!?! Like those two things are even possible!!! My boob feels like it's about to explode! If I move that lady will no longer be attached to my body! Yep--I'm singing the Hallelujah Chorus and Twirling like a ballerina! Crushed It!

Done!

I'm released from Jaws grip & sent to wait for my exit papers. I've had appointments where it didn't go easy and others when I get my release quickly. I've even been brought back for another look on one of the "ladies". Regardless of the tension of those moments, the sweet voice of Gentle Jesus speaks and reminds me He is my Rock and Fortress! He also brings me back to the NOW. 'Stay in the moment Angie.'
Thankful for a God who is the giver of peace.
After many mental cartwheels and deep breaths, I receive my walking papers! I passed!
I gladly return the exquisite gown. I corral the ladies and get them situated...get dressed..."I'm outta here!"
.....Starbucks here I come!..😊
To God Be the Glory!
#veteranbaseballwifelife

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Being Progressive: Gravity Part 2

1/21/2015

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In a previous post I write, "Oh Mr. Newton, I don't believe Mrs. Newton shared your enthusiasm over your discovery! You see, Gravity shows no partiality towards anything plump or perky!"

http://www.angieandstormblog.com/1/post/2015/01/gravity-youve-done-some-work-on-me.html

Readers!

Trying to see and manage all of these lovely badges of aging require accurate eyes! My latest trip to the eye doctor unveiled certain changes in my vision that needed another inventor's bright discovery! Ben Franklin's bi-focals have found a home on my face! If I didn't already have the badges of gravity for all to see, I now have the accessory of the aging eyes front and center!
The doctor says I mightl need at least one pair of glasses, sometimes two. I may require one for distance and another for up close. If I'm supertalented I may require a third pair for all my computer work because, God forbid, these eyes cooperate. Yikes!! Thank Goodness for the progressive lenses that can put all those corrections in one lense!! I like the thought that I'm being Progressive!🤓
Otherwise, I do believe hanging multiple pairs of glasses around our necks on gem studded leashes, or searching for them in our cavernous purses while driving, could cause injuries for many mature ocular challenged women!

Today I'm going to live with my head held high--it makes the neck look good! I'm going to rock my new face lotions (more info to come) and feel spunky in my new WILD spectacles!! I may even hit up the chocolate store for a chocolate covered strawberry! I think you should swing your 'back porch' down to your favorite treat shop and enjoy some fine chocolate & coffee today too!! It's good for the soul-- as well as the memory and the heart!! 😄

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Gravity, You've Done Some Work on Me! Part 1

1/13/2015

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Mimi (me) & Lillian

For all my "Maturing" lady friends!
Hi. My name is Angie. I sometimes lie about my age. But here goes the truth:
Christmas Eve 1961, I arrived! You’re welcome to do the math. Since my 30’s I feel like someone has turned the speed up on the clocks! Where's the White Rabbit and Alice? How could this be? All my kids are in their 30’s! There are people who call me Mimi and I'm only 39! (In my head)! My mirror and choice of shoes tell me otherwise! Oh Gravity-- you've done some work on me!

The once perky cantaloupes now resemble bananas. The once tight mid-section, after bearing large babies, resembles the Los Angeles Freeway. Puff pastries resemble pancakes. The garden no longer stays in its boundaries. Once smooth skin now looks like the surface of the moon. Locks of hair resemble Christmas trees sprinkled with tinsel. The face now has places that others refer to kindly as "character". Character looks a whole lot like sunspots, smile lines, crows feet, “squintIng in the sun” lines, basset hound face, cystic acne for the hormone sensitive, eye airbags, and stray chin whiskers for the extra special group! My lips have gradually lost their pomp and circumstance. Please tell me I haven't eaten off my lips along with gallons of lipstick over the years! The neck and chest need to be ironed or in use of a permanent turtleneck. Isn't this lovely?! Oh Mr. Newton, I don't believe Mrs. Newton shared your enthusiasm over your discovery! You see, Gravity shows no partiality towards anything plump or perky!

As I live this phase of my life with laughter and Miralax, I am truly thankful for my precious friends! My friends come in all ages and walks of life. One of them refers to us as Well Seasoned Women!! I absolutely love that! They are some of the funniest and most grace-filled ladies I've ever encountered! We all agree that we are very excited when we discover that amazing bra! The one that gathers the "ladies" from the four corners and lifts them to their rightful place--- separates them into 2 distinct entities vs. a uniboob---and does so with comfort and style! There's no better feeling!!
Victory is ours!
There's more to come....

Angieandstormblog.com

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#veteranbaseballwifelife

Unique Life. Hot Mess. Family Love. Sweet Times.

Mammo Day: Gravity 3

Being Progressive: Gravity Part 2

Gravity, You've Done Some Work on Me! Part 1

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